literature

What Just Happened?

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Literature Text

The Condor's bridge was quiet this morning. The navigator stood at her post, leafing through maps and calculations as the pilot stood at the helm. Suddenly he glanced over his shoulder, blinking his big, yellow eyes. "Hey, Piper."

"What?" The petite girl looked up.

"You don't have mindworms, do you?"

"No, Stork, I don't."

The pilot turned back to the helm.

Piper looked up again. "What? Why do you ask?"

The merb shrugged. "No reason."

"I'm telling you I don't."

Whipping around, Stork threw his arms out. "Well how do you know the mindworms aren't eating away at your brain without you knowing? You could feel fine and have half your left lobe missing!"

Piper frowned. "Then why would you ASK me?"

"For that exact reason! You say you don't, but-"

"Stork, I don't have mindworms. Not one." He nodded at her assuring tone, turning back to the controls.

"Then do you have pneumonia?"

"NO! Am I wheezing?" She put her hands on her hips and glowered at the back of his head.

"No. It might not be severe yet, though."

"Why don't you just LOOK down my THROAT and SEE FOR YOURSELF?"

Radarr padded into the bridge, took one look at Piper's expression, and dove under her table.

The merb's tone was a disgusted one. "Um, no offense, but that would be really unsanitary."

"THEN LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Fine." He hesitated. "Would you mind checking around the ship for me?"

The navigator sighed. "I guess not. For what?"

"Clowns."

"WHAT?"

He was already standing beside her with a clipboard. "Here are the signs."

Piper took it and her eyebrow went up. "What the- Red nose, little water-squirting flowers… conveniently-placed storm drains? Stork?"

Stork blinked. "Yeah?"

"You are…"

"A genius? A weirdo? Covered in giant spiders I can't see?"

"COMPLETELY PARANOID!"

He crossed his arms. "No I'm not, I'm cautious."

The girl threw her own arms out. "You're scared of, like, everything, and it's getting worse."

Suddenly the green pilot gasped. "I know what!"

"Go see a counselor?"

"No, I know what's wrong with you! You have mindworms in your lungs and you got pneumonia from them!"

"STORK!"

"Yes?"

"You need to calm down."

"I am calm," he replied evenly.

"Well, yeah, I mean I know you're calm, but you don't need to worry so much."

"I'm not worried."

"I know. I meant negative."

"I'm not negative. I'm happy all the time."

Piper's face twitched. She stuck an accusing finger out and poked him in the chest with it. "No! You're not! Negative is THE word for it!"

Stork lifted his chin and retorted flippantly, "I just don't want you getting infected with mindworms or pneumonia or killed by psychotic murderers posing as clowns."

Sighing, Piper murmured, "I promise I won't. … Just one more question."

"What would that be?"

"Would you care if Finn got pneumonia or mindworms or eaten by clowns?"

"Not really."

"Junko?"

"He'd break a lot less stuff…"

"Aerrow?"

"Nope. Strong immune system would help cure them all."

"So…" the girl smirked.

"Wait, what are you saying?"

"You just said that you don't care about anybody as much as me."

"I didn't say that." Stork's eye twitched.

Piper crossed her own arms. "More or less," she said smugly.

Stork scowled. "I did not!"

"You did too!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"And what if I did, little miss know-it-all?"

"Then I care about you too, jerk!"

"Well, good! I'm GLAD YOU DO."

"I KNOW."

The merb clenched his fists and leaned forward. "Well if I'm so great, why don't you just DATE me?"

Piper glared back. "I think I WILL."

"FINE."

"FINE." The girl whipped around and stalked out of the room.

"And I'll PAY for it," Stork yelled after her.

"FINE!"

"FINE!" The pilot turned and stalked out the opposite door.

After a moment, Radarr emerged from under the table, eyes wide. He chirped to himself a phrase that would've somewhat resembled this.

What just happened?
X3
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EMO-NNY's avatar
do you know anyone else who rights stork x piper cause i cant find them